My three loves
by I'll Cover Angel and Collins
Summary: Roger thinks about the 3 loves he had in his life and how they all ended up leaving him.


Disclaimer: I don't RENT.

Dedication: This one is dedicated to Hayley has been on my ass to actually write something.

_Flashbacks are typed like this =) _

Enjoy.

Roger Davis was sitting in the loft all alone. Playing his guitar, Still not able to find his song and that's when Roger realized the truth and the truth was that he lost the ability to write a decent song the day April died in the Bathroom. That's when Roger truly realized he lost the love of his life 3 entirely different times.

First time he lost the love of his life was April. He really did love her she was different then all the other girls he dated that he only wanted for sex, April was perfect in his eyes. She was creative and artsy and she's what inspired him to write amazing songs. April always had unrealistic ideas she wanted to try out, Even though Roger never wanted to do them as he knew they would fail he did it anyway for her, His April.

Sadly for Roger April was rather good at convincing him to do things. She was the one who started doing drugs, She was the one who begged him to do it with her because she was too scared to do it alone, She was the one who told him how good it would feel, She was the one who shot him up the first time when he had second thoughts, She was the one who put the first needle in him that got him hooked, She was the one who gave him the news that she was HIV positive and she was the one who told him he should get tested too.

"_Roger, I'm so sorry" _

"_Don't be"_

"_I ruined you're life and mine" _

"_April, I promise you everything is going to be fine! We take the AZT and everything will be alright!"_

"_Alright? Roger, how can you say that? Because of me were both going to die!" _

"_It's Okay April, We have each other and that's all that matters! I love you April" _

It was almost 2 weeks after that conversation that April told Roger that she was going to take a bath and little did Roger know that was the last thing she would ever say to him and the last time he would see her alive again, April his first love.

After April died Roger made a promise to himself that he would become clean for himself and for April. Roger stayed in the loft since April's funeral he lost his inspiration to write music and to be happy. Mark would tell him that he needed to get out of the house and he just ignored him. Roger had no desire to leave the loft. Little did Roger know was fate had in store for him one night, Fate brought him the second love of his life Mimi. Mimi was pretty and Roger fell in love with her the moment he met her, The night fate brought him and her together, The night she came and asked him to light her candle. The only problem with Mimi was the fact she was using drugs, Which Roger came off of. She agreed to stop using, She told him she would get clean for him, This made Roger happy. Eventually Mimi moved in with Mark and Roger. They got engaged even though Roger never actually had money to get her a ring.

Eventually Mimi and Roger would fight every night as Roger hated where she worked and she hated the fact that Roger would never get a job. Mark tried to stay out of it all. Regardless of how many fights he and Mimi had Roger admitted he still loved her just not where she worked and he had a good reason. Mimi started using again because of where she worked she would dance for dealers who would pay her in smack. Roger knew she was using again and so did Mark but neither had the heart to say anything to her, So Roger would just pretend that everything was fine and he didn't know Mimi's secret, That is until Mimi started getting weaker and weaker with each passing day, Roger felt the need to say something.

"_Mimi, How long have you been using?"_

"_I quit Roger"_

"_That's a lie, I noticed you've been using I just didn't want to say anything!"_

"_Then why say anything now?"_

"_Did you get a good look at yourself? You look so pale! You look more pale then Mark!"_

"_That's not true! I have the flu!"_

"_Your eyes are Bloodshot! I don't know if you're on withdrawal or what right now! But I know you have been using!"_

"_You of all people should know how hard it is to quit!"_

"_But I did quit Meems! You can do it too! I'll help you! Mark will too!" _

"_Fine, I'll quit for you…"_

"_Don't quit for me, Do it for yourself"_

Sadly Roger never got to see if she would ever quit, Mimi died in her sleep that night, Right next to Roger. Roger laid in bed holding her body in his arms for 2 hours while he cried and wondered why he had to lose her. Mark called the paramedics who took her body out just like they did with April's almost 2 years before.

Roger bawled his eyes out to Mark asking him how he could lose not one but two loves of his life like that. He asked Mark what he did to deserve this. Mark of course told him it was not his fault and that everything happens for a reason. He stayed with Roger and did whatever he could to make Roger stop hurting, He got Roger to play music again, sadly Roger never could find his one song but he still tried, He did this for Mark. Roger knew he loved Mark in a special way that was best friend love. Mark was his best friend and he loved him for being there every time he needed him, Getting him through the HIV situation, The whole losing April thing, Helping Mimi get clean, Comforting him after Mimi died. Mark was always there for him and for that he loved him. His best friend.

Roger decided not to date anyone else after Mimi and he and Mark just talked most of the time and became even better friends then they already were. One day Roger wanted some cookies and they had none so Mark offered to get him some. Roger regrets ever letting him go and get the cookies. That was the day he lost the third love of his life and best friend, that was the day Mark never came back and it was all Roger's fault. Roger remembers getting the call from the police telling him that Mark got hit by a car on the way home, He remembers how they told him he needed to come down and indentify Mark's Body, How he cried even harder when he actually saw Mark's body. Roger remembers the conversation they had two days before.

"_Mark?"_

"_Yeah Roger?"_

"_You know I love you right?"_

"_What the hell?"_

"_No No…Not in a creepy way! I don't wanna date you! I just love you as my best friend" _

"_Well then in that case I love you too Roger!"_

"_Glad to hear it, Mark! Thanks for being here for me"_

"_You're welcome I know you would do the same for me" _

"_I would" _

Roger couldn't help but smile as he remembered that and told the police it was Mark's body. That was the last time Roger left his loft, that was 3 weeks ago he lost his best friend, It was 3 weeks ago Roger bought a gun and bullets and threw it on the coffee table, 3 weeks of staring at it, 3 weeks of thinking of all the memories, 3 weeks of thinking about how alone he was, It's been 3 weeks since Roger started thinking of every love of his life he lost, It's been 3 weeks that Roger couldn't stop staring at the gun on the table, It's been 3 weeks since Roger started using again, It's been 3 weeks since Roger stopped caring anymore, It's been 3 weeks since Roger has taken an AZT and it's been 3 weeks to long.

Roger finally picked up the gun and said "I'm doing this for all 3 of you! I'm doing this because I love you all so much!" Roger then closed his eyes.

**BANG **

It was over


End file.
